My Poems

A mask

At your side

Choices

Contrasts

Darkness

Enough

Eternal Night

For a reason

For my uncle

For someone special

Freedom

Haunt

Headache and Heartache

How often were you disappointed?

I dream of you

I'm me

I've fallen in love

I sat home and cried

I saw you and I loved you

Is this love?

It's just not meant to be

I wish

Loneliness

Love is more

Love poem

One single look

Red rose

Refusal

Silence

Sleep

Speedy Powidl

Tea

The wind

Untitled

Who?

Will you?

You're in my thoughts

Your answer

At your side

I would like to go at your side,
Walking through the city.
I would like to put my head on your shoulder,
Knowing that we belong together.
I would like to feel you beside me,
Being held by you.

I would like to support you
When you have a bad day.
I would like to catch you
When you falter.
I dream of you
Doing the same for me.

I would like to have you at my side
Wherever I go.
I would like to be able to count on you
When I need you.
I want to walk through life
With you at my side.



For someone special

I could hate you
For what you are doing to me
Unknowing.

Iíve seen you,
Iíve loved you,
It took but one look.

Iíve loved you
But you didnít see me;
Your friendship had to be enough.

Only your friendship
Till even that was gone;
I thought you had forgotten me.

So I forgot you also,
Cast you out of my life, my mind, my heart
Until one little word from you brought it all back.

It took but one single word from you
And the fire that had burned down to ashes a long time ago
Ė as I had thought Ė flared up anew.

Again my heart is afire,
Again I am thinking of you,
Again my love for you represents the centre of my life.

If you would but have me
I would be in your arms ere you could blink with your eyes
But it is not me your heart is calling for.



Contrasts

If there was no night, day would have no sense,
if there was no death, life would have no value,
if there was no sorrow, joy would not exist,
if there was no evil, nobody could decide to be good.

My fear triggers my courage,
my crying precedes my laughing,
out of shadow I step into the light,
only if I venture will I gain.

Without the past there will be no future,
but if you want to live, really want to live, with all of your heart,
then you will have to live now, in the present,
never fearing death, never being afraid of the morrow, never thinking of yesterday.

If you want to live, forget your hate, love,
if you want to live, leave off crying, laugh,
if you want to live, allow yourself to feel, feel the joy and feel the sorrow,
if you want to live, stand in the light, always knowing about dark also.

Live Ė knowing Death at your side,
live Ė keeping your heart full of Love,
live Ė showing Joy in your eyes,
live Ė bearing Goodness in your mind.



Enough

One single look of you was enough to make my face bloom,
One single look of you was enough to bring a sparkle to my eyes,
One single look of you was enough to make me want to leave the life Iíve lead till now and follow you instead wherever you may go.
But who are you and who am I?

You havenít even realized that I started to bloom when you looked at me,
You havenít even noticed that you were the reason for my sparkling eyes,
You donít even know I have changed because of you,
And why should you want me to follow you wherever you may go?
After all who am I and who are you?


One single look

I have seen you,
One single look,
I donít even know you,
One single look,
When your eyes swept through the room,
One single look,
That you darted at me without even seeing me,
One single look,
That pierced me through and through,
One single look,
Who are you
That one single look is all it takes
To bind me to you forever,
One single look.



I dream of you

I dream of you,
Being beside me,
Holding me,
Holding me without ever letting me go.
But why should you love me
Who might seem only as a child to you?
Whom you barely know?
Whose name you forget from one meeting to the next?
How can I only imagine
That you could love me one day
Or might even love me already?
I dream of you and feel lonely.



Love poem

I love you for your order
Where I am chaos.
I love you for your no
Where I would like to say yes.
I love you for being yourself
Because I am different.

Of course it would be easier for me
If you didnít like order quite as much
But then you wouldnít be yourself.
Of course I desire a yes
But if I took your no from you
I would take you a lot of who you are.
Of course it is difficult for me to accept you as you are
But if you were different I would not love you as I do
Because if you were different you would not be you.



Love is more

Love is more than just being in love,
Love is more than being two,
Love is more than belonging together.
Love is more than just kissing and touching,
Love is more than longing and desire,
Love is more than passing the nights.
Love is so much more.

Oh, I long to tell you,
I long to explain.
Love is so much more
but Iíve just started to find out myself.
And I donít know how to explain.
Love is just so much moreÖ

Love is more than resemblance or difference,
Love is more than just the time shared,
Love is more than being inseparable.
Love is more than shared goals,
Love is more than just common plans,
Love is more than eternal happiness.
Love is so much more.

Oh, I long to tell you,
I long to explain.
Love is so much more
but Iíve just started to find out myself.
And I donít know how to explain.
Love is just so much moreÖ

Love is more than writing together,
Love is more than laughing together,
Love is more than just talking together.
Love is more than touching each other,
Love is more than reaching out to the other
Love is more than just listening to each other.
Love is so much more.

Oh, I long to tell you,
I long to explain.
Love is so much more
but Iíve just started to find out myself.
And I donít know how to explain.
Love is just so much more,
Love is also the desire to understand.



Who?

I hardly know you
But there is something in you calling me,
Something in you calling to me,
Awakening a yearning in me,
A yearning I didnít know I had:
I long to be held
By you.

A few times only Iíve seen you,
Iíve not even said seven words to you
But suddenly you are important to me,
Overnight.
I have but one desire
To look deep
Into your eyes.

Perhaps youíve tried already to talk to me,
To make me care
If I had just really seen you.
But probably you donít see anything special in me
- how should you? -
I, however, am wishing for one thing only:
To be with you.



For a reason

Iím sad
Because you are gone
From my life
Forever.

I came into your life for a reason:
I didnít come to make you hurt,
I came to make you care.
I didnít come to make you cry,
I came to make you laugh whenever you remember.


But still,
Iíve lost you.
I want you back
At my side!

Life goes on, my child.
Donít remember the day I left you,
Think of all the days I was with you.
I came into your life for a reason,
And this reason was love.




How often were you disappointed?

How often did you find someone?
You told yourself: this is the one,
This person really wants to understand.
You thought you really loved this person,
And again it was not true.

How often did you care for someone?
You told yourself: this is the one,
This person really cares.
You thought you understood this person,
And again it was not true.

How often did you love someone?
You told yourself: this is the one,
This person really feels with me.
You thought you really knew this person,
And again it was not true.

How often were you disappointed?
You tell yourself: not anymore! I give it up!
But now I tell you this:
Never give it up, because one day
Youíll find the other part of your soul.



Iíve fallen in love

Iíve fallen in love with an image,
An image that doesnít exist,
And then Iíve given your name to that image.
Now what am I going to do?
Will I search for you beneath that image?
Or will I run away?
Will I force you to become that image?
Or will I accept you as you are?

Iíve fallen in love with a dream
My dreams tell me a lot about you,
But I know that my dreams are not true.
Now what am I going to do?
Will I let the dream go?
Or will I force you to become that dream?
Will I let it burst like a bubble of soap?
Or will I just adapt that dream?

Iíve fallen in love with love,
That love was what I called you,
And now Iíve found that there is a difference.
Now what am I going to do?
Will I keep calling you love and go on living a lie?
Or I will I just leave you?
Will I just stay in love with love?
Or will I change to love you?



Youíre in my thoughts

Weíve never met, not once.
I just saw you
And now youíre in my thoughts.

Youíre far away,
Once around the world
But now youíre in my thoughts.

I know itís impossible,
Weíll never meet
Yet now youíre in my thoughts.

In my thoughts you are near,
In my thoughts you are not far,
In my thoughts we are not separated.
Yes, youíre in my thoughts.



Will you?

Will you stay with me when Iím all alone?
Will you hold me when I cry?
Will you be there when the others all are gone?
Will you just love me?

Will you bear with my humours when Iíve a bad day?
Will you listen when I rant and rave?
Will you fulfil my every wish ere I can even say?
Will you just love me?

Will you believe in me when I lose hope?
Will you tell me the truth when I am wrong?
Will you support me when I alone canít cope?
Will you just love me?



I saw you and I loved you

I saw you and I loved you
But you were not alone.
I did not wish to interfere
Where there dwelt happiness.

I saw you and I loved you
In that small cafť.
My life was lonely
And I came back for you.

I saw you and I loved you.
Every day I came,
Sometimes you were there,
Most often you were not.

I saw you and I loved you,
Before your screen in silence.
I watched you all the time
Whenever you were there.

I saw you and I loved you,
Deeply sunk in dreams,
Reading through your mails
And never seeing me.

I saw you and I loved you
In that small cafť.
But you were not alone,
Yet I came back for you.

I saw you and I loved you.
My days were empty,
My thoughts kept circling,
Just in my dreams you were with me.

I saw you and I loved you.
I watched you all the time.
One day I saw you cry
And my heart went out to you.

I saw you and I loved you.
I rose and said ďhelloĒ.
You were surprised and blushed
And something vanished from your screen.

I saw you and I loved you.
Who had hurt you so?
I longed to take you in my arms.
Alas, I was too shy.

I saw you and I loved you.
ďWould you walk with me?Ē
My heart beat fast and you said ďyesĒ.
I was at loss for words.

I saw you and I loved you.
ďWhat is it that has happened?
Who has hurt you so?Ē
But you refused to say.

I saw you and I loved you.
You were so sad and beautiful.
ďThanks so much for asking,
Itís something from my past.Ē

I saw you and I loved you.
Never would I hurt you so.
ďSome things arenít meant to be.Ē
You said and looked away.

I saw you and I loved you.
Who had hurt you so?
Were you alone once more?
Was this my one and only chance?

I saw you and I loved you.
I bit my lip,
I didnít dare.
What might you say?

I saw you and I loved you.
My throat was closed,
Yet I must try.
I sighed and dared.

ďI saw you and I loved you.
What do you say to this?Ē
My breath stopped in my throat
As your blue eyes caught mine.

I saw you and I loved you.
Your voice was soft,
ďYou cared? I didnít know.Ē
You looked at me in wonder.

I saw you and I loved you.
I waited for your verdict
And when you smiled at me
I enclosed you in my arms.



I sat home and cried

I had so many hopes,
And you raised them some more.
Then all my dreams were shattered,
So I sat home and cried.

I longed for you to hug me,
To tell me everything was fine
But you were far away
And I sat home and cried.

I felt so much as failure.
Was it me who was at fault?
I thought Iíd never know
As I sat home and cried.

Donít take it serious, they said,
And rubbed it in some more.
Why couldnít they be quiet
While I sat home and cried?

Suddenly I fell asleep
And dreamt that everything was fine.
You just were there for me.
Now I sit home and smile.



It's just not meant to be

I know you deeply care for me,
Iíd like so much to love you,
Yet you are just a friend for me.
Itís just not meant to be.

I know you really love me,
Yet itís different worlds we have,
I couldnít live in yours, youíd try in mine.
But it isnít meant to be.

I know youíd do whatever I might ask,
Yet I donít want to have to ask,
I wish that you might see without me telling.
Itís just not meant to be.

I know youíre always there for me.
You wouldnít dare to lock me in,
Whatever I might long for will be fine with you.
Yet itís just not meant to be.

I know you wouldnít ask for much
But you have no idea of what you ask.
Itís something that is not in me to give.
Itís just not meant to be.

I know you will not lose your hope,
I didnít give you any reason,
Yet maybe one day Iíll learn to love,
Maybe itís meant to be.



For my uncle

I had promised to write,
Why did I always forget?
I was supposed to visit,
Why did I never find time?
I meant to hug you,
Why did I never dare?
I really wanted you to know I care
But now it is too late.

Never again can I show you my poems,
Never again can I just talk to you,
Never again can I just hug you,
Never again can I make you smile,
Never again can I tell you
How much you meant to me.
Why didnít I just do these things
As long as I had time?

If I just could see you one more time
So I could hug and tell you
How much I care for you.
Just one more moment
So I could ask you to forgive
All that I didnít do.
One short second is all I ask
And all Iíll never have.



Untitled

Lost.
Bereft.
Alone.

How did I get here?
What happened?
Why me?

I cry.
I shout.
I scream.

And search for an escape.
Yes, there is light.
And hope.



Is this love?

Who are you
To make me care
Without even trying?
I want nothing so much
As to be with you,
All the time,
Day and night.
I want to be with you
So hard it hurts.
If that is love,
Then I love you, I guess.

Who are you
To make me cry
Whenever you are far?
I want you to care
As much as I do
Here and now
And tomorrow.
I want you to hold me
When I falter.
If that is love,
Then I love you, I guess.

Who are you
To make me smile
Even when I want to cry?
I want you beside me
Wherever I go,
Whatever may happen,
Forever.
I want to call you friend
And more than friend.
If that is love,
Then I love you, I guess.



Red rose

I picked a red rose.
Itís just a flower Ė
I try to tell myself.
So why canít I help thinking of you?

You picked a red rose Ė
Just a flower like this one Ė
And gave it to me,
To show me your love.

You picked a red rose
And made a vow to me.
You pricked yourself on a thorn
And vowed to love me by your blood.

I picked a red rose
And pricked myself on a thorn.
Now my blood and my tears mingle
For you didnít keep your vow.

I picked a red rose
And I broke its stem
As you broke your vow.
Broken it lies on the ground,
In a puddle of blood and tears.



Choices

Wrong.
It was wrong what you did,
Absolutely, utterly wrong.
You didnít even realise,
You just did wrong.

Unmasked.
Youíd always worn the mask of goodness,
The mask of righteousness,
Seemingly fighting for the light.
And now he unmasked you.

One word.
It cut right through your heart.
And you knew.
Youíd been wrong all along.
And he knew as well.

A path.
Before you it forks.
Atone for what you did,
Tell others what you did
And return to the light.

Or not.
Go on as before.
He wonít betray you.
He wonít even judge,
And no one else knows.

Shine.
Go on shining like you did,
Your light seemingly a beacon through the night.
Yet a light that is only illusion
And will lead others to their downfall.

Admit.
Admit what you did.
That youíve erred.
Make it up.
Become true light.

Choice.
Left or right?
There is no middle way,
Not this time.
Where will you go?

What now?
Light or Dark?
If you choose wrong,
This time it is forever
Because this time you know.



Darkness

I'm lost.
I'm in darkness.
Will you help?

Why should I?
Don't you know who I am?
What I am?

I don't care who you are.
You are here.
With me.

But I'm darkness.
I'm not here to help
But to hinder and hurt.

I can't believe that.
If you meant to hurt,
you would have already.

You don't know me.
I'll teach you fear
And pain and loss.

But I don't fear you.
I already know pain and loss.
You'll help me.

But I'm darkness.
I can't help you.
I can't change.

You can change.
No night can be so dark
there won't follow dawn.

How can you know?
I am not night,
I'm darkness.

Take this gift,
The gift of flame.
Now how will you use it?

A gift? For me? For darkness?
A gift of flame?
What am I supposed to do with it?

Light a candle or a fire.
Now what will you choose?
The candle of love or the fires of hate?

I am darkness.
I cannot light a flame,
Yet I will try.

And lo there was a flame,
A small, dancing flame.
It was the candle of love.



Eternal Night

Eternal Night,
The night is mine.
I fear the light,
Light - my certain death,
And yet I long for it.

Eternal Night,
The living cast me out,
They called me dead,
Yet dead Iím not,
Night for night I walk again.

Eternal Night,
Long white fangs,
The smell of ruby blood,
Wearing black velvet I hunt.
I fascinate and drink.

Eternal Night,
Longing and desire,
Fascination and thirst,
Every night I vow Ė no more!
And every night I need again.

Eternal night,
When will I dare?
Wait up for the light,
See the sun one last time
And go up in my pyre.

Eternal night,
I live on,
I drink the blood,
I long for death,
But I belong to night eternal.



Haunt

I keep haunting this place,
And yet I know my duty lies elsewhere.
This Ė the place of my greatest triumph
And also the place of my sorrow and death.

Iím supposed to leave,
Yet I cannot.
Whenever I try,
Something keeps drawing me back.

Is there still something more?
Something else now to come?
Havenít I had enough pain?
Why? Oh why this empty place?

I visit and watch,
Sometimes there's pain,
Sometimes I donít,
Yet Iím not home.

When can I go on?
When can I leave?
What is drawing me back?
What am I waiting for?

I watch and wait
And see the sun come out
And the flowers that start to bloom,
Now Iím healed and can go on.



Loneliness

Alone
I just said good-bye,
Nothing but good-bye
Instead of the truth,
The truth that I love you.

Moonlight
Above the moon is full.
How romantic
If I just werenít alone,
If you were here with me.

Silence
The snow crunches under my feet.
My steps the only sound
Breaking the silence,
The silence of loneliness.

I wish
I wish Iíd dared to speak.
Maybe one word would have been enough
But too precious the friendship
To risk it with one unguarded truth.

Alone
I wish you were with me.
But I am alone
And probably will be alone
Forever.



Your answer

I knew
What answer youíd give me,
Knew before I asked;
Still I had to ask.
I needed to know for sure
That even the small hope
Which I still cherished
Was in vain.

I asked,
And you said no.
I nodded.
ďItís as I expected.Ē
You were sorry
But I said "Itís okay",
And closed my eyes
To hide my tears.

I thought
If I just knew for sure
I could put it behind me
And move on.
But it was not enough;
I still canít understand
Why itís got to be a no
Because I love you.



A mask

I smile.
I donít want you to see my pain,
Itís not your fault
And it would only hurt you
In vain.

I laugh.
I do my best to seem happy
But inside my heart is crying,
Shedding uncountable tears
For you.

I chat
About dozens of inconsequential things,
Just not about my feelings,
Never about my feelings
For you.

My face
Is set into a mask of permanent happiness,
To keep safe our friendship
Iím protecting you
From my pain.

I know
Itís better like this
But once, just once
Iíd love for you to see
The truth.

I long
For you to see through my mask,
Yet I know
It would only hurt you
In vain.



Refusal

I dance through life,
And every step does hurt.
Alone I suffer,
Alone I cry,
Yet I refuse to let you see.

I go on laughing,
Though my heart is bleeding,
Itís shedding bloody tears,
So many tears for you,
Yet I refuse to let you see.

I play my harp
But its song is bitter:
It sings of love,
My secret love for you,
Yet I refuse to let you see.

I love you,
Yes, I really do.
But what is it to you
Who do not care for me?
So I refuse to let you see.

I go on loving,
I canít help it.
I tried to tell you
Of my love for you
But you refused to see.

And still I claim
Itís worth it.
My heart is not from stone,
Itís made for love
And so maybe one day youíll see.



I wish

I wait for you
And know I wait in vain;
Youíll come
But not for me.

How much I wish
You were with me,
How much I wish
Youíd come for me.

I know it well:
I should not wait,
Alas, itís just so hard
To tell it to my heart.

How much I wish
You were with me,
How much I wish
Youíd come for me.

My heart is lonely,
And so is yours.
My heart cries out to you,
Yet yours does not reply.

How much I wish
You were with me,
How much I wish
Youíd come for me.
But it will never be.



Headache and heartache

ĄWhatís wrong?ď You ask,
ďYou look so sad.Ē
ďOh, nothing.Ē I reply,
ďA headache, nothing more.Ē
ďGo see a doctor.Ē You command,
ďYou really should, you know.Ē

I shake my head,
Knowing fully well
That doctors cannot help.
Itís not my head that aches,
It is my heart.
What doctor could mend hearts?

Oh no, you did not break it.
You didnít even take it.
You shook your head
And hugged me
Back when I told you
How I feel.
Itís not your fault,
And yet my heart, it hurts.



Silence

The door falls shut.
Alone at last.
Calm and quiet.
A relieved sigh.

Blissful silence.
No sound, no talk.
Just one lone clock
To break the quiet.

Outside it's white.
Snow is falling,
Muting the sounds,
Silent cars pass.

Light a candle,
Dance of flames.
Enjoy the peace.
Relaxation.

Weights fall from me.
I smile again.
My heartís at rest.
Silence at last.



Sleep

Tired.
So tired.
Mortally tired.

Empty.
Exhausted.
Longing for sleep.

Let go.
Fall asleep.
Stop resisting.

Just sleep.
No reason
To keep awake.

Itís night.
Close your eyes.
Sleep till morning.

Relax.
Iíll guard you
Till tomorrow.

Thank you.
Iíll sleep now
As you told me.

And then
Tomorrow
Thereíll be another day.



Iím me

I meant no harm,
I only thought to help.
Yet they took it bad,
They called me names and chased me off.
Why don't they understand?
I'm me.

Pushed away like this,
It hurts a lot.
They didn't let me reason,
Spoiled child, they thought,
And simply told me no.
Why don't they understand?
I'm me.

I was just having fun,
And thought they were as well.
Yet it didn't work
And so I'm hurt
While they are angry.
Why don't they understand?
I'm me.

I try to scream,
I try to cry,
Yet neither screaming helps
Nor do my tears:
I just feel bad.
Why don't they understand?
I'm me.

I go away
Never to come back.
I can't forgive -
I do not want to.
Now think, would they?
Why don't they understand?
I'm me.



I want my freedom

I want my freedom,
And I want to do what I please.
I want to sing and to dance,
I want to play and to laugh;
I want to learn and to read,
I want to talk and to listen to whoever I choose.
I want to go here and there Ė unhindered,
I want my freedom
But I do not want to be alone.



Tea

What is tea?
It is the perfect blend of all the elements.
How can that be? A simple drink, four elements?
Water - who would make tea without?
Okay, a liquid, I see.
Fire - don't you prefer your tea scalding hot?
Warmth, of course.
Earth - where else would you grow the herbs to use?
Ah yes, the tea leaves, how could I forget?
Air - have you never smelled the heavenly scent of well-made tea?
Now, I understand. Tea - the perfect blend of the elements.



The wind

Itís everywhere around me,
And I feel free.
Free to stay,
Free to play.
I also feel free to go
But suddenly the wind says no.
Itís in my face
It doesnít let me leave this place.

Why? So I ask.
Because you still have a task.
Can you further explain?
There is someone that you have to train.
Train? Who? I do not understand.
You have seen all that land?
No bell does ring?
This land, it needs a king.

A king? Who would that be?
Someone who can be free.
Someone who is kind,
This one you will have to find.
Why me? I cry
With a big sigh.
You are a mage,
Soon to be known as a sage.

Where shall I look?
Here, take this book.
And this sword
Out of my hoard.
The book of knowledge
And the sword will give you an edge.
Then the wind left
And I felt bereft.

I scored the land for years and years
- Shedding many tears -
But the one I sought I did not find,
The one who was rumoured to be kind.
I longed to be free,
Suddenly an idea came to me:
I set the sword in stone
To be drawn by the righteous king alone.

The book had told me how,
Now the tale is nearly done - Meow.
It then disappeared from sight
And I saw light.
Oh, I forgot to present myself
How rude! Would say an elf.
My name is Merlin, Merlin the cat.
And now I will go hunt for a rat.



Speedy Powidl

Everyone else had a pet,
So I wanted one, too.
So many animals;
Which one to choose?

A cat was too big
And therefore forbidden.
A parrot was loud
And therefore impossible.

A fish was too quiet
And moreover boring.
Maybe a guinea pig?
They are all cute.

But then I saw you,
A sweet little mouse.
The price was okay
And I took you with me.

Oh, you were shy
And really afraid.
Whenever I touched you
You screeched and you scratched.

Often you slept
When I was awake,
Yet in the night
You were up and about.

But you were cute,
And I called you mine.
I was the envy of all
Who ever saw you.

You nibbled all over,
All you could reach.
There still are some holes
left over from you.

For all of three years
I had you with me.
But then one day
You lived no more.

I buried your body
Out in the garden.
Now when I look
I still see you there.



My Shortstories My Fantasy Stories

Lisendra's Story A Paladin's Tale


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